It was love at first sight, you guys.

There I was at my local Walmart doing some underwear shopping (TMI, I know) when I spotted this thing. If you’re familiar with how Walmarts are laid out, you’re forced to walk past the displays of seasonal crap to get to the clothes, and my eyes locked on that unmistakable combination of purple and green like a laser-guided missile. It didn’t hit me until I was standing in the checkout line how sad and pathetic it is to buy myself a valentine, but whatever, TURTLES! On a cheap watch! In a heart-shaped package!

TMNT Valentine's Day Watch

I think this thing may have been surrounded by other licensed, gift-ready Valentine’s Day watches, but I only had eyes for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They were flirting with me. Look at that flirty little red bow. Such a tease!

NickTurtles Valentine's Day Watch

Can you imagine being a kid and getting this watch from someone in your class? This is the kind of valentine that would have made me kiss you behind the bleachers AND let you copy my homework. That’s worth the $5 price tag, right?

Here’s a close-up of the face, which is encircled by orange plastic. I don’t know if this is the only color available, but it’s all Walmart had. I was kind of hoping for different watch designs in each of the four Turtle’s mask colors–how cool would it be to be able to gift your crush his/her favorite Turtle on a watch? But that’s probably asking too much from a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Valentine’s Day watch. I’m ecstatic a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Valentine’s Day watch even exists.

Closeup of TMNT Valentine Watch

This is so much cooler than those Nickelodeon TMNT candy valentines. Someone blew a golden opportunity to make those lollipops pizza-flavored.