Alternate title for this post: “Why I Shouldn’t Have Gone Inside Rite-Aid.”
This past weekend my boyfriend stopped at Rite-Aid to pick up some NyQuil (Sidebar: Since when did they start requiring you to provide your birth date for cough medicine purchases? Crazy!) for his cough and I made the mistake of going inside to look at Halloween stuff instead of staying in the car to finish jamming to that AWOLNATION song.
Situated innocently among an end cap of potato chips and plain old pretzels I found these festive-looking bags of Herr’s Chocolate Flavor-Drizzled Pumpkin Shaped Pretzels.
(Another alternate title idea for this post: “iPad Takes Shitty Pictures”)
Now, I don’t know who at Herr’s is in charge of naming products, but surely they could have come up with something a little catchier and not quite as wordy as “Herr’s Chocolate Flavor-Drizzled Pumpkin Shaped Pretzels.” Surely they could have eliminated a word or two and still have given you all the information you need to know. The way “Chocolate Flavor-Drizzled” is separated out leads me to believe there could be other flavors of this product I’m unaware of–perhaps caramel or white chocolate? And why is “Flavor-Drizzled” hyphenated but “Pumpkin Shaped” is not? #ShitNobodyCaresAboutExceptMe
I love the haunted house-themed packaging with the giant moon in the background. It’s a subtle color scheme that lets the Pumpkin Shaped Pretzels take center stage. On the back there’s also this silly Halloween message that suggests pretzels dress up for Halloween just like kids. DAT HERR’S BE CRAY. I love it.
At first I was a little put off by the $3.49 price tag for what looks like such a small bag of pretzels, but then my natural instincts for seeking out delicious Halloween snack products against all costs took over.
As it turns out, the size of the bag is deceitful.
There’s plenty of pretzels inside:
Taste wise, these Pumpkin Pretzels have the right mix of salty and sweet with a hint of chocolate flavor. Other than the festive coloring and shape, they don’t seem that much different than your average chocolate-covered pretzels, but make no mistake–these things are addictive. The orange frosting has a buttery taste on the tongue and the inner pretzel core has a nice crunch. They’re not too sweet or overly salty; they’re just perfect.
As far as Halloween food products go, Herr’s Chocolate Flavor-Drizzled Pumpkin Shaped Pretzels (god damn that’s getting tiresome to type out) aren’t the most exciting or creative of Halloween confections–like, say, Candy Corn Oreos or those green, gooey Cadbury Scream Eggs. But they look great, taste delicious, and more than made my trip into that Rite-Aid worthwhile.