There. That’s a free business idea I’m selflessly bestowing upon the world. Mainly because I wish it were an actual thing.
You remember Glamour Shots, right? Think Deb from Napoleon Dynamite. Your local mall probably had a Glamour Shots at some point or another; most likely in the late 80s or early 90s. It was a chain of portrait studios where you got all gussied up in eyeliner and feather boas like some two-bit whore–the bigger and more feathered your hair, the better–to pose for your very own “glamour shot.” Sometimes you cold even pose with props, like a sparkly microphone or studded cowgirl hat. At Glamour Shots, it didn’t matter how young or old you were, fat or thin, wearing whore make-up and single-handedly depleting the world’s supply of Aqua Net was appropriate for all ages and body types. Sometimes even men.
Oh Google Image Search, you never disappoint. Here’re some of the finest examples of Glamour Shots the internet has to offer:
This is also highly relevant and worth a few minutes of your time: The 20 Worst Glamour Shots
So anyway, back to my brilliant idea. Imagine if there was a Glamour Shots-like place you could go to get made over in the style of your favorite music video? Not just a makeover, though–I’m talking about actually “starring” in one. That’s totally possible nowadays, what with Photoshop and clever video editing, right? Or maybe it could be done kind of like Jab-Jab where there’s these pre-recorded template videos of faceless people dancing the parts of your favorite music videos and all they’d have to do is insert your photo. Yeah…I’VE THOUGHT WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS. I suppose the idea wouldn’t need to be limited to 80’s music videos, but 80’s music videos are obviously the most rad AND the most ridiculous–kind of like Glamour Shots themselves.
I’ve already got my dream videos all picked out:
I know it’s hard to put a pricetag on living your dream, but whaddya think–about $100 or so for the privilege? Discounts if you can supply your own wardrobe. Just think how amazing dinner parties and family get-togethers will be when you can whip out a cheesy music video of your very own.