Gary Gulman - No Can Defend

It’s official. Gary Gulman. I love him.

Last night I was listening to The Karate Kid soundtrack on Spotify, or trying to, when one of the tracks from Gulman’s latest album No Can Defendwhich happened to include a bunch of Karate Kid jokes–popped into my stream and was so funny I proceeded to completely lose my shit. You could say I discovered this guy by accident, but since I was also working on my Karate Kid-themed post for The League when it happened, I feel pretty comfortable using the word “destiny.”

Here’s why you’ll love him too:

  • Karate Kid jokes. Like, A LOT OF THEM. In fact, there are two dedicated tracks of Karate Kid jokes (if the album title wasn’t a good enough indicator).
  • He’s addicted to watching movies and gets into hilarious in-depth analyses debating the merits of Netflix, Blockbuster, and cable On Demand services.
  • Tons of 80s and 90s pop culture jokes and references. Among some of the subjects touched upon are Discmans, New Jack City, and Vanilla Ice–and I quote:

“If you’re a MAMMAL, you like Ice Ice Baby. It is an innate reaction to that song. When you’re alone in your car, when there’s nobody around to judge you, when you’re rollin’ in your 5.0 with the rag top down so your hair can blow, and all of a sudden out of the ether you hear ‘bading ding ding dada ling ding’ you turn up the volume and you PRAY…it’s not Queen’s ‘Under Pressure.'”

  • Nintendo vs. Sega
  • Scholastic Book Club

So basically his jokes revolve around everything that is important to me. Plus, he shares my opinion that people who buy bottled water are schmucks.

If you’ve got Spotify, you can listen to Gary Gulman – No Can Defend right here.