One day, hundreds of years from now, when my generation of cynical, religionless assholes have given birth to whole new generations of cynical, religionless assholes, this will be America’s new national anthem:
You know, America may not be a perfect country. We have an ongoing debt crisis, failing education, racism, sexism, any type of “ism” you can think of, really, and a broken political system that polarizes every issue. We’re a nation of entitled, self-righteous, hypocritical, fat slobs who value things like Tim Tebow and the iPad over real solutions to our own problems.
But you know something? I wouldn’t live anywhere else. Whether I lean left, right, or choose not to give a shit, I’m thankful I live in a country that lets me do it. And if you don’t like the way things are, you can always move to another state.
Kenny Powers knows what I’m talking about.
Finally, because there’s nothing more patriotic than a large-breasted blonde prancing around in a bikini to Dixie, and because I’ve been wanting an excuse to post this clip anyway, here’s 60 seconds of Bridget Fonda doing exactly that:
God bless America.
Other Patriotic Posts from The League
Wondering what this is all about? This week’s assignment from The League of Extraordinary Bloggers was to write about Patriotic Pop Culture–what are the things that make us want to stand up and salute Old Glory? Here’s a round-up of what they said:
- Green Plastic Squirt Gun likes Team America too, just not the same one I do
- Branded in the 80s gets his American rocks off to the 1986 animated G.I. Joe movie
- Infinite Hollywood thinks Hacksaw Jim Duggan is wrestling’s biggest patriot
- Adomotomy waxes nostalgic over the Bomb Pop, one of my favorite childhood ice cream truck treats (second only to my beloved Fat Frog)