Barnabas Brushing his Fangs

Well, I was looking forward to Tim Burton’s upcoming film Dark Shadows

After waiting months and months for any hint of a teaser, the full blown trailer arrived out of nowhere last night. And man what a fucking disappointment it is.


Ok seriously, Tim Burton, what the hell? This was your chance to make a serious film for Dark Shadows fans and you’ve completely blown it.

I mean this has to be some kind of joke, right? Nobody asked for “Austin Powers with Fangs,” as the Boston Herald puts it.

Yes, we know Dark Shadows was a campy, low-budget soap opera, but it wasn’t this (whatever the hell “this” is). The original TV show had more integrity than that.

Despite its limitations, Dark Shadows at least tried to be a serious show and stuck to its unique (at the time) formula of horror, mystery and romance. It was never considered a comedy (well, at least not intentionally) and never had to resort to cheap jokes.

I love Tim Burton and all, but this makes two films in a row now (Alice in Wonderland) where he’s completely missed the mark and ruined beloved characters and fandoms with his flamboyant, style-over-substance treatment of the material.

Oh well. I guess we’ll always have the original Dark Shadows to fall back on.