I happen to love the Sega CD dearly and hold a special place in my heart for it, but holy shit did it have some terrible commercials. It’s a tough job marketing game consoles that have a maximum of 64 colors displayable simultaneously, but somebody’s gotta do it.
Today I’m waxing nostalgic about my favorite full motion video peripheral with this round-up of five awesomely bad Sega CD commercials:
“WHOOOOOOOA…NOTHING ELSE MOVES LIKE IT!”
Apparently Sega CD’s most bad ass feature is…that the disc spins.
This 5-minute long in-store commercial/demo reel for the Sega CD is a typical example of early 90’s teen-centric marketing: choppy “in your face” editing, subliminal text messages, kids expressing themselves in ironic sound bytes, and employs what I like to call the acid wash jeans filter. It could easily be mistaken for an episode of Nickelodeon’s Roundhouse. I won’t blame you if you can’t sit through the whole thing.
Hey, was that Lucas at 1:28? (“Sega CD? SO BAD!”)
“Still don’t have a Sega CD? What are you waiting for, Nintendo to make one?”
I hate it when angry black men break the fourth wall and fuck up my living room.
“There is no Nintendo CD.”
Jesus, didn’t Dwayne Wayne have anything better to do?
“Now that’s tight.”
Promo spot for Sega CD featuring Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch: Make My Video. This is about as 1990s as it gets, kids.
“Just when you thought you’d seen everything…”
Explosions! Fire! Sharks! Cannons! Caution: may be too EXTREME for some viewers. Only watch this if you can handle how EXTREMELY EXTREME it is!
I hope you’ve all learned some valuable lessons today.